omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
