Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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