i can't believe i had my finger in that
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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