he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
