no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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