Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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