No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
