I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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