I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize