the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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