Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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