i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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