i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
