I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
