my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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