So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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