Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
