end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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