Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
