it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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