So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
