guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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