she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
