last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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