So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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