Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
