hotel room ftw
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
