On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize