Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
