I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
please come you make the beer taste better
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
