From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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