i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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