I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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