U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i barfeds in our rink
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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