it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
