Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
