i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
