We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize