I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
