so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
how does that bad decision feel?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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