And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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