My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
