I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Someone came in the potted fern
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
