you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
