so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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