therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
