That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
