dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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