the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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