It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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