while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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