im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
