Where are you?
In a non slutty way
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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