guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
