i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize