so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I bet he comes in French.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
