Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if only i could text you this smell
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
