belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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