I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the day after is always just damage control
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize