I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
