if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize