At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
