All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
