How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize