nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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