I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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