break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
