You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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