This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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