i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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