Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
two words...techno handjob
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
