What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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