i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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