I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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