Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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