I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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