What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize