If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
