Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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