How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
