I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
