what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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